Missional Man Podcast
Tools for the modern Christian man.

Ep#14: K.C. Procter, Identity & Being a Dad

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Summary & Intro

k.c. procter

K.C. Procter – follower of Jesus, husband (of 9 years), great dad (2 daughters, 1 son), data analyst for Starbucks in Seattle, fan-boy of Seattle Seahawks, co-founder of Church Mag Press, social media director for his church, blogger, writer, podcaster, Lego fanatic, fellow coffee addict (it’s a way of life baby).

Recap & Synopsis

Listen this week as K.C. and I  discuss identity and being a dad. K.C. shares how identity is more complicated then we may realize or admit. Identity often makes up our background, gifting, environment into a jigsaw puzzle of identity. Our identity in Christ is at the root of who we are, but who we are and what we are called to do is an intricate part of our identity. KC and I have a jam-packed, fast chat on identity and the adventures of dadhood. Buckle up for a fast, bumpy thrill ride of encouragement!

*The following are my favorite top quotes from K.C. and I. Use them freely and widely, but please offer credit where credit is due. For full show notes, click and download link below. Thanks.

Identity is a lot more complicated then people realize or then we may want to admit. Who we are in Christ and our eternal identity is a facet and piece of who we are. People find identity in the work that they do, family background, culture, geography, and faith. All those things create a collage or giant jigsaw of who we are. As a Christian I believe my identity in Christ is at the root of all of that, but to deny the other factors is naive.

The core of my identity is really self-awareness. Taking the time to ask “is this activity, side-project in alignment with my values and beliefs?”. If it isn’t, do my values need to change or my priorities need to change? Values have very little flexibility, but priorities shift all the time because of the season of life we’re in.

Becoming a dad matures you in so many different ways from a personal perspective and character to professionally.

When you have kids your values and priorities shift. Your dreams become better and bigger.

On my own my dreams stink, but when the fuel and inspiration for my dreams is my family and someone else I’m serving a higher purpose and my dreams are bigger and better.

It’s been said that our children’s view of God is formed and heavily influenced by their relationship with their Dad. With that their view of themselves. How do they see themselves through my eyes?

I think for daughters, listening is huge. Not being a problem solver. Leveraging husband skills like communication, affirmation, telling them they’re beautiful and not problem solving.

I often ask the question “why are you crying”, because if I can find out why then I can fix it.

One of the challenges as a parent is to avoid the mistakes of our parents while repeating their successes.

My 7-year-old is so aware of her own mistakes that we’re in a season right now where she is apologizing for literally everything. Her performance is so incredibly important to her own value. (Jonathan)

I tend to be a quick decision maker. I can often be a drill sergeant. Because I was a military kid. But with my kids, it creates a lot of tension in the house. It doesn’t create a lot of harmony in the home. There’s a time and place for that.

Sometimes parents in relationship with their kids can gravitate too strongly into the friend zone, and forget their primary role is parent. My job is not to raise good kids but good adults and help them along that journey.

Aha Moment in Conversation about Maturing as a Parent

You’re almost as a dad, based on the season of your kids and what age they are and what they’re into, you kind of change with it. (Jonathan)

As a dad you’re maturity cycle starts over with your kids. Relating to them, freedom to be creative and embracing the silliness. Not that you’re pervasively immature but you can relate to your kids and have fun.

“I am not big enough to ruin God’s plans, but I’m not insignificant enough to not matter.” quote from K.C.

My role as a dad is intricately bound to my kids’ development and success. But God’s grace and a child’s resilience is significant enough to overcome all of my failures.

It’s being cognizant of how much time you have left (future) while being able to live in the moment (present).



Action Round (1 Take-away & 1 Action-Item)

1 TA (One take-away for YOU to think about)

“I am not big enough to ruin God’s plans, but I’m not insignificant enough to not matter. My role as a dad is intricately bound to my kids’ development and success. But God’s grace and a child’s resilience is significant enough to overcome all of my failures.” quote from K.C.

1 AI (One action-item for YOU to go do.)

Schedule a date night with your wife within the next month if it isn’t already on the calendar. The #1 role of a dad is to love their kids’ mom well. That will overflow into everything else as their role as a dad.


K.C. Online

K.C. on Twitter

K.C.’s Podcast: Dad Life Rules


Dedicated Dad: How Modern Men Can Win At Work, Home and Life by K.C. Procter

*Guys, this is not only an eBook of powerful and practical principles from K.C. on dadhood, but also access to a private Facebook group with K.C. and like-minded dads.

And if you preorder in time, you also get access to some pretty amazing exclusive opportunities.

For the cost of a mocha latte from Starbucks, you can be on the way to serious encouragement to being a more dedicated dad.



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